Patrick Hardy is a charming six-foot tall Irishman who loves women, food, and the good life.

He's a bright man who bumbles into trouble. Often.

He's a compulsive eater who will gorge on anything from pate de fois gras to Kosher salami on cinnamon raisin bread with mayonnaise.

He has high blood pressure and a trick knee. He drives an old VW bug and dreams of putting a Porsche engine in it. He owns a big, silly shaggy disgrace of a standard poodle whose personality mirrors his.

He's lazy.
He's indolent.
He's self-indulgent.
And he's a coward.

But don't push him.